An Incident, an Apology.

ok let me say this clear, once and for all. I may be out of my mind yesterday, whatever I do prolly its still my fault ok?

Yet, Im here being humbled before you all. Sincerely, I apologise to all that I've hurt deeply. I have seen the outcome of many such situations, and I wonder why my problems always seem "such a big deal". Maybe many of many have higher expectations of me than any others.

However, I am human. Human just like you.
"To err is human; to forgive is divine." by Alexander Pope
Unless, you're not human and you dont error.

I am not hoping for forgiveness, nor you to accept my apology.
Just that I want you to know, I make mistakes, all humans are non-perfect.
We make mistakes as we grow. To me, I will definitely make more than you. Because I am young and naive, I have yet to experience more difficult process in my life than you do. And you are a person that have seen much more of such problems than I do.

Nevertheless, there is this lesson I would like to share with you all. I have realised that in some point of your life, there will be this one person that you trust the most will hurt you the most. This could lead to dysfunctional in the future life. Yet, the longer you hold the grudge, the longer you will never get out of that misery. As I quoted before.. Human tends to error, we just cannot prevent it from happening. I found this story by David Mills.

"How heavy is this glass of water?
A lecturer raised a glass of water in his hand, extended his arm and asked "How heavy is this?" Answers ranged from 300g to 500g. The lecturer replied "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I try and hold it. If I hold it for a minute that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it the heavier it becomes.

So, where does this apply in life?

To an unkind comment someone may once have made about you.
To a time in your life when you didn't act as well as you could have done.
To a disappointment you experienced when an expectation of yours was not met.
To a difficult childhood, a divorce, a job loss, you can fill in the rest.

The burden gets heavier the longer you carry it.
You either say goodbye to the past or you say goodbye to the future.

© 2010 David Mills."

http://www.enmore.org/forgiveness-issues.htm

Well, what had done was done, no way of going back. and whatever she says is correct, so have it her way. I don't care whatever others say to me, if they want to blame me, go ahead, want to scold me, go ahead, whatever punishments, im all ready to take. I am taking full responsibilities for every word I said and every action I did.

No matter what they say will never bring me down, cause I only allow 1 person to judge me that is the eyes of God!
and clara koh.. welcome to the real world.