hahax ^^ thanks to my friends, had a great great dinner at chomp chomp.. thank the lord I did not met Aunt >.<" I think in this life I will never be in any good terms with her anymore..
lol sometimes its really you believe or not.. some people tend to meet more stupid incidences and more curvy roads in their lives, and for me, its like episodic type of incidences.. maybe because i live such a good life that problems like this occurs. No one else will prolly gets it but me.
Well, no matter what, everyone had their own solitary moments of miseries and misfortunes, one side that they will choose not to let anyone knows.
But all in all, I had a great and super full dinner at chomp chomp. :D we analysed which ice kachang was better.. and in the end we talked out the pros and cons.. PS. >.<" there was this unneccessary fight over the "亞達子" lol! and erm corn avalanche >.<" hahaha.
Wow.. suddenly felt the stress-relief feeling, I think everyone feels that too :D.
I am so tired but internally I don't feel like sleeping. >.<"
Just can't believe I find it hard breathing lately, hopefully, its just because of the stress. This morning (yesterday), I had these series of panic attacks.. = ="
It seldom comes to me, the most was to feel the adrenaline rush but there was this sensation that I felt.. I could hardly breathe normally and I felt nausea along with the hyperventilation.. = ="" omg..
this is really not what i want things to turn out.. *finger crossed*
Clara Koh!! you must take things 1 step at a time!! I think you're going to drive yourself nutz if you continue to force yourself to your limits!!
Lesson to overcome for now: let my mind rest.. let my mindset change, get myself out of that whole mindset of stresses.. let go of what will happen to my family, let go of what will happen to my studies.. let go of the future.. Just live for today!!
Live today 'til the fullest!!
Lesson learnt: When you overthink, you tend to loose yourself. And when you loose yourself, it is either very hard for you to find yourself, or you need to seek help! If you find yourself lost, get out in the society.. Make some friends.. and prolly things will get better.. Unless >.<" you meet friends that will really make you believe that solitude is better than groups.. then find something that you can hold on for a long time. A passion for life, something so interesting that will keep you occupied. And the next step is what im trying to learn. Since I'm such a loser >.<" nothing seems to holds me down.. I need to do something, keep searching for new things that can keep me interested.. i swear i never want to relaspe again.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Year 1: Sem 1 Exam
>.<" heels over head. that's all i can describe the amount of pressure that's on me now.
I really want to do well, so im tryin' to stress myself. but for some reasons, im the type that cannot take stress, once im stressed out, i will start escaping, i will want to get out.
And yes, that is one part of my M.O. that I cannot change. very weird, yet, i can't help it.
so im going to be having my exam on 28th and 29th of this month! hopefully, i can blog again before i depart to China. Well, as far as I know, China officially blocks youtube, facebook, blogger >.<", and soon to be: google.
omg >.<" i wonder what i will do over there for that 1 month, i know i will watch animes but i cannot assure myself that it will be able to last me for a month.
hahax. anyways, this trip is another self-reflection trip. just like the previous one when i visited 九寨溝. and then when im back from China, hopefully, things could change a little, although i should not be so optimistic about it, everytime im hoping for unrealistic things, this time i shall accept the fact.
but still.. its my character to day dream. to think of impossibilities and tryin' to make it possible. im always optimistic, i was never a pessimist, just prolly due to long-term untreated depress that's all.
anywayzz i better get goin' ~~ ah!
I really want to do well, so im tryin' to stress myself. but for some reasons, im the type that cannot take stress, once im stressed out, i will start escaping, i will want to get out.
And yes, that is one part of my M.O. that I cannot change. very weird, yet, i can't help it.
so im going to be having my exam on 28th and 29th of this month! hopefully, i can blog again before i depart to China. Well, as far as I know, China officially blocks youtube, facebook, blogger >.<", and soon to be: google.
omg >.<" i wonder what i will do over there for that 1 month, i know i will watch animes but i cannot assure myself that it will be able to last me for a month.
hahax. anyways, this trip is another self-reflection trip. just like the previous one when i visited 九寨溝. and then when im back from China, hopefully, things could change a little, although i should not be so optimistic about it, everytime im hoping for unrealistic things, this time i shall accept the fact.
but still.. its my character to day dream. to think of impossibilities and tryin' to make it possible. im always optimistic, i was never a pessimist, just prolly due to long-term untreated depress that's all.
anywayzz i better get goin' ~~ ah!
Saturday, January 09, 2010
陶喆-- 上太空說演唱會!!
OMG! Need to thank Nicole and her friends for inviting me over to this concert!
I am so overwhelm right now, 'cause this is the very first mando pop artist concert I have ever went to!! I never thought my first will be David Tao!! and his live singing was like playing from a CD! It was so good! And Im very sure it's not lip sync, there were many many variation to his voice! and I really enjoyed it!
Omg! I will have to say his guitar skills was professional ! no matter acoustic/ electric! He gave the audience plus the fans the most!! Yup he encourage every1 that whoever is trying to learn something dont give up, the reason he could slam the guitar today was all the effort placed when he was about a 12 yrs old boy, practicing the guitar everyday, at the dining table, sitting in the toilet! OMG! so funny! but yea~ I will strive for my driving and also my guitar skills!! one day i oso want to be as pro as you are!!
I didn't know DT was such a humourous guy!! He kept the audience in some sort of excited mood, especially me >.<" I laughed so hard when he tried to crack those jokes. When he said his dad was influence by Elvis Presley while mum was an opera singer! and him saying if that were music, he'll not compose anymore!!
omg! can;t believe he was such a funny guy!
plus he hardly rest in between, but yes!! I love all his songs! omg 首首都印象深刻！！
Nope i never regretted for going today! I actually wanted more from him! but it was a great pleasure for him to share all the artists that had influenced him to become such a successful singer today. I wish him all the best in future! yes! and i hope Singapore can continue to keep the paparazzi profile low! Ahh~ can't wait for his next actual concert!
Today was a blast! I screamed so many times >.<" like a maddo.. yup hope to post some pics tomorrow! Meanwhile~ im going to listen to his music until I doze off :D
psps! DT was so funny.. he said he was so sick of playing 普通朋友。。 everytime he strikes the guitar notes the crowds go woo wow ahh~~ but when the crowd started clapping to the beat.. he was like :S argh so distracted by it! so this time he ask us not to clap but to sing along~ aww so nice ~ plus i love the remix version of 小鎮姑娘! 哎喲！ 超讚的！！ hehe~ playing one of his songs from the current 69樂章 album~~
ok good nite bloggy~ clara koh is so happy today^^
I am so overwhelm right now, 'cause this is the very first mando pop artist concert I have ever went to!! I never thought my first will be David Tao!! and his live singing was like playing from a CD! It was so good! And Im very sure it's not lip sync, there were many many variation to his voice! and I really enjoyed it!
Omg! I will have to say his guitar skills was professional ! no matter acoustic/ electric! He gave the audience plus the fans the most!! Yup he encourage every1 that whoever is trying to learn something dont give up, the reason he could slam the guitar today was all the effort placed when he was about a 12 yrs old boy, practicing the guitar everyday, at the dining table, sitting in the toilet! OMG! so funny! but yea~ I will strive for my driving and also my guitar skills!! one day i oso want to be as pro as you are!!
I didn't know DT was such a humourous guy!! He kept the audience in some sort of excited mood, especially me >.<" I laughed so hard when he tried to crack those jokes. When he said his dad was influence by Elvis Presley while mum was an opera singer! and him saying if that were music, he'll not compose anymore!!
omg! can;t believe he was such a funny guy!
plus he hardly rest in between, but yes!! I love all his songs! omg 首首都印象深刻！！
Nope i never regretted for going today! I actually wanted more from him! but it was a great pleasure for him to share all the artists that had influenced him to become such a successful singer today. I wish him all the best in future! yes! and i hope Singapore can continue to keep the paparazzi profile low! Ahh~ can't wait for his next actual concert!
Today was a blast! I screamed so many times >.<" like a maddo.. yup hope to post some pics tomorrow! Meanwhile~ im going to listen to his music until I doze off :D
psps! DT was so funny.. he said he was so sick of playing 普通朋友。。 everytime he strikes the guitar notes the crowds go woo wow ahh~~ but when the crowd started clapping to the beat.. he was like :S argh so distracted by it! so this time he ask us not to clap but to sing along~ aww so nice ~ plus i love the remix version of 小鎮姑娘! 哎喲！ 超讚的！！ hehe~ playing one of his songs from the current 69樂章 album~~
ok good nite bloggy~ clara koh is so happy today^^
Monday, January 04, 2010
Many Thanks Cousins~
thanks for the 2 of your support!
:D actually i was thinking of the worst scenario, and since i had even gone thru such situations before without any relatives by my side.
But having you 2 around really brighten up my day !!
at least i know coming back to home isnt the wrong choice :D
i wont forget today, i was actually supported by 2 of my cousins!
really admire the 2 of your courage! hahax, no matter what happens remember be careful of what you do :D hahax.
hmm i think that's all for now, we shall see if we have time for lunch sometime :D
I hope the band hero was not such a pain in the neck for you two hahax hope you two enjoyed it >.<" although there were some technical errors in between.
yup, for now just like that ba, hope after cny.. things will change better, and me be more careful~~
hahax thanks again! (i very long never feel that people will stand by me, that's why i might be a little over hahax 請不要見怪)
:D actually i was thinking of the worst scenario, and since i had even gone thru such situations before without any relatives by my side.
But having you 2 around really brighten up my day !!
at least i know coming back to home isnt the wrong choice :D
i wont forget today, i was actually supported by 2 of my cousins!
really admire the 2 of your courage! hahax, no matter what happens remember be careful of what you do :D hahax.
hmm i think that's all for now, we shall see if we have time for lunch sometime :D
I hope the band hero was not such a pain in the neck for you two hahax hope you two enjoyed it >.<" although there were some technical errors in between.
yup, for now just like that ba, hope after cny.. things will change better, and me be more careful~~
hahax thanks again! (i very long never feel that people will stand by me, that's why i might be a little over hahax 請不要見怪)
Sunday, January 03, 2010
An Incident, an Apology.
ok let me say this clear, once and for all. I may be out of my mind yesterday, whatever I do prolly its still my fault ok?
Yet, Im here being humbled before you all. Sincerely, I apologise to all that I've hurt deeply. I have seen the outcome of many such situations, and I wonder why my problems always seem "such a big deal". Maybe many of many have higher expectations of me than any others.
However, I am human. Human just like you.
"To err is human; to forgive is divine." by Alexander Pope
Unless, you're not human and you dont error.
I am not hoping for forgiveness, nor you to accept my apology.
Just that I want you to know, I make mistakes, all humans are non-perfect.
We make mistakes as we grow. To me, I will definitely make more than you. Because I am young and naive, I have yet to experience more difficult process in my life than you do. And you are a person that have seen much more of such problems than I do.
Nevertheless, there is this lesson I would like to share with you all. I have realised that in some point of your life, there will be this one person that you trust the most will hurt you the most. This could lead to dysfunctional in the future life. Yet, the longer you hold the grudge, the longer you will never get out of that misery. As I quoted before.. Human tends to error, we just cannot prevent it from happening. I found this story by David Mills.
"How heavy is this glass of water?
A lecturer raised a glass of water in his hand, extended his arm and asked "How heavy is this?" Answers ranged from 300g to 500g. The lecturer replied "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I try and hold it. If I hold it for a minute that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it the heavier it becomes.
So, where does this apply in life?
To an unkind comment someone may once have made about you.
To a time in your life when you didn't act as well as you could have done.
To a disappointment you experienced when an expectation of yours was not met.
To a difficult childhood, a divorce, a job loss, you can fill in the rest.
The burden gets heavier the longer you carry it.
You either say goodbye to the past or you say goodbye to the future.
© 2010 David Mills."
http://www.enmore.org/forgiveness-issues.htm
Well, what had done was done, no way of going back. and whatever she says is correct, so have it her way. I don't care whatever others say to me, if they want to blame me, go ahead, want to scold me, go ahead, whatever punishments, im all ready to take. I am taking full responsibilities for every word I said and every action I did.
No matter what they say will never bring me down, cause I only allow 1 person to judge me that is the eyes of God!
and clara koh.. welcome to the real world.
Yet, Im here being humbled before you all. Sincerely, I apologise to all that I've hurt deeply. I have seen the outcome of many such situations, and I wonder why my problems always seem "such a big deal". Maybe many of many have higher expectations of me than any others.
However, I am human. Human just like you.
"To err is human; to forgive is divine." by Alexander Pope
Unless, you're not human and you dont error.
I am not hoping for forgiveness, nor you to accept my apology.
Just that I want you to know, I make mistakes, all humans are non-perfect.
We make mistakes as we grow. To me, I will definitely make more than you. Because I am young and naive, I have yet to experience more difficult process in my life than you do. And you are a person that have seen much more of such problems than I do.
Nevertheless, there is this lesson I would like to share with you all. I have realised that in some point of your life, there will be this one person that you trust the most will hurt you the most. This could lead to dysfunctional in the future life. Yet, the longer you hold the grudge, the longer you will never get out of that misery. As I quoted before.. Human tends to error, we just cannot prevent it from happening. I found this story by David Mills.
"How heavy is this glass of water?
A lecturer raised a glass of water in his hand, extended his arm and asked "How heavy is this?" Answers ranged from 300g to 500g. The lecturer replied "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I try and hold it. If I hold it for a minute that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it the heavier it becomes.
So, where does this apply in life?
To an unkind comment someone may once have made about you.
To a time in your life when you didn't act as well as you could have done.
To a disappointment you experienced when an expectation of yours was not met.
To a difficult childhood, a divorce, a job loss, you can fill in the rest.
The burden gets heavier the longer you carry it.
You either say goodbye to the past or you say goodbye to the future.
© 2010 David Mills."
http://www.enmore.org/forgiveness-issues.htm
Well, what had done was done, no way of going back. and whatever she says is correct, so have it her way. I don't care whatever others say to me, if they want to blame me, go ahead, want to scold me, go ahead, whatever punishments, im all ready to take. I am taking full responsibilities for every word I said and every action I did.
No matter what they say will never bring me down, cause I only allow 1 person to judge me that is the eyes of God!
and clara koh.. welcome to the real world.
Friday, January 01, 2010
1.1.2010. today, i made a wish.
wow.. sorry my dear bloggy, i did not upload the photos for Genting, && i have not been able to post that entry..
yet, i don't want to waste the day (1.1.2010)..
so yup, just sent off my mum and bro to the airport, currently the teletext says "last call" ..hmm life is goin' to be boring again ..
yet, i think this year i made a realistic wish. just hope that it will come true :D!
other than that i think this wish is able to share with all, that is? I hope 2010 things will get better!! no matter politics, economics or socially!! I hope to see unity in the world! lol
hmm other than that, i know my final exams are coming this month end.. :S i think i need to start revising day in day out. so i really have no time for entertainments aft 4th of Jan :(..
aiyo.. ok i better go check the teletxt.. when it says "depart" imma head for a shower~~ ok sorry bloggy this is a quick one, hope to post the genting entry ASAP!
Best wishes to everyone in 2010~~
yet, i don't want to waste the day (1.1.2010)..
so yup, just sent off my mum and bro to the airport, currently the teletext says "last call" ..hmm life is goin' to be boring again ..
yet, i think this year i made a realistic wish. just hope that it will come true :D!
other than that i think this wish is able to share with all, that is? I hope 2010 things will get better!! no matter politics, economics or socially!! I hope to see unity in the world! lol
hmm other than that, i know my final exams are coming this month end.. :S i think i need to start revising day in day out. so i really have no time for entertainments aft 4th of Jan :(..
aiyo.. ok i better go check the teletxt.. when it says "depart" imma head for a shower~~ ok sorry bloggy this is a quick one, hope to post the genting entry ASAP!
Best wishes to everyone in 2010~~
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