Inevitable Invincible

=) yesterday i was just wishing myself luck for the today's test.
today.. i got into a car accident.. im really grateful that
the motorcyclist is able to walk just a bruise on his left arm.
thank god it was not fractured.. so i spent an hour waiting
for more and more white shirt people to come and
meanwhile i was feeding mosquitoes.. sighz.. car got scratched
and dented moreover my tyres were punctured.. >.<
great.. nothing is that serious but i just dont feel right.
every time im so close to knocking on death's door..
it's like how many times will i be so lucky?
and why do i have to involve other people?
i wonder how long more.. im getting very troubled lately..
I feel like dropping out??
i dont know where to seek help.. i dunno who can save me.
i survived alone 2003-2009.. i thought it would be easier now..
but reality is that "it" never goes away.. i feel haunted.
haunted with passed memories, how do i overcome and move on?
can i always get away from mistakes? no.. but why are my mistakes
always so huge? so inevitable? so sudden? so invincible?
what if that motorcyclist died there? i can never ever forgive myself..
life is not a something to play and fool around..
we've got a reason and purpose here.. i cannot imagine how the world
had changed into such a remorseless place..
how can you not feel remorse for actions you've done singaporeans?
i cannot imagine i'm part of a heartless group of people..
i cannot believe it..
hours passed.. it's lunchtime now.. and im still in shock..
i've still got lots of things to do.. i need to march on for now..
and i need to take a holiday....