Hiatus

Well, looking at the years of blogging,
I remembered who taught me to write.
I remembered those days when writing was the only form of therapy.
I remembered those counsellors who told me to keep a diary.
To those counsellors- Mr. Fast & Mr. Knobel,
if you still remember.. Thank you.
Because I truly remembered the times.
& it has proven to keep my sanity going on for years.
Hence, thank you with gratitude. :)

As I am embarking on a journey which is a little bittersweet.
Bidding goodbye to the crazy times, the youths, the late nights.
Saying hello to the routines, the chores, the jams, the adulthood.
& perhaps the middlelife crisis.

Reflecting since I was an 18 year old..
When I first started writing, blogging.
I wonder how much wisdom have I gained and..
how much have I also lost along the way.
Maybe I didn't live my teenage to the fullest,
hence I played too hard during these past young adult days.
So many adventures that words could hardly describe them except for
those who have been through it themselves would understand.

A quarter of life.
I have my fair bit of understanding of life. love. blood. sweat. tears.
I am glad so much have been accomplished.
Proud to be a MA graduate despite the ups and downs in life.
I am glad that the lessons in life did not break me.
But instead, I am bent well to face what's gonna come ahead.
Whatever they are, 2017, please be good to me. I am ready to be reborn.
For that I am going to place focus in my life,
to concentrate on the things that matters most
and to contribute to this society with the rest of my life.
Until then, I am officially on hiatus.
If I still remember this blog, I will write again. But until then.. :)

We Ain't Ever Getting Older

Haha well, lately I have been thinking of someone that I shouldn't
Watched this video on the 24th October night.
& woah.. it blew my mind! Way to go Chainsmokers!
2016 is definitely your year! :X so is DNCE's! Haha :D
Hmm so my mum decided to bring me on a cruise trip this X'mas
Awesome much~!! :) I'm so gonna enjoy it to the fullest!
Last day of October.. I kept everything locked away.
Never to look back. Everything ends in 2016.
That's all for a love story that sparked too fast
and ended way too quickly.
We ain't ever getting older. How did you felt about everything?
What're your inner thoughts and feelings?
& all that you were reluctant to share with me..
they would stay a mystery forever.
It is something that I will never know.
& perhaps, I don't intend to know them as well..

Nonetheless, I gotta just celebrate life, ode to the next chapter!
Looking forward to the upcoming events:
3rd Dec- Graduation.
22nd Dec- Cruise.
31st Dec- Some Celebration. :)
Life is good, no complains.
Picking myself back piece by piece, bit by bit.
&.. a song for anyone who stumbles across my blog. :)

When Morning Comes.. I Don't Wanna Know

I guess other than being a little more diligent in work..
I will party my life away. If this is how the world is heading towards,
let me be part of it instead of out casting myself.
It took me long enough to see that there is indeed no true love
I'm just sugar-coating my life. Monetarily and momentarily.
Time to adapt to the realistic world.. which I hated most.
Appearance, money, appearance, money.. work. work. work.
May all my sins go down with me on my very last day.
For now.. I can't be bothered anymore.. just give me sugar..
End the sufferings.. I don't need all these in my life.

All I Ask

2016 has been a roller coaster ride.
I can't believe September is almost coming to an end soon.
May this year past quicker.. 2017 and the rest of my life..
Please be a good one.. yea?
Goodbye to you, goodbye to the old me.
Hello new me, hello to 2017.. just give me a memory I can use.
A song dedicate to everyone who feels Adele,
and all that emotions coming through. Let it flow, let it go.

I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

*If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
Repeat *

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is
Repeat *

後來的我們

嘿 此時此刻的我 突然好想妳
回想到我們那短暫的感情 或許妳還記得 也許妳早已忘記
雖然是我先選擇放棄的 但是妳可知道 放棄也需要很大的勇氣
放棄并不代表捨棄 我覺得是一種解脫 還妳、我自由
好讓妳早一些遇到 對的人 對的她
我仍相信妳一定會找到比我更會照顧妳、更加疼愛妳的人
無論現在的妳會有多麽恨我 請永遠記得妳值得幸福 沒人能奪取妳的快樂
雖然那天過後 我們再也沒聯絡了 而妳也不會希望再聽見與我有關的事情
那麽 我也只能在這里傳達我對妳所有的思念
此時此刻的我 突然好想妳

嘿.. 快要半年了 我依舊沒有你的消息.
日子也照舊這樣過去了. 不知現在的你是否過得好一些呢?
希望是如此吧.. 假如我從沒認真過 現在的我又何必對著空氣説話呢?
等待，誰不曾等待過? 誰不曾愛過 瘋過 痛過? 誰不曾啊?
但是可悲可恨的是 往往最用心的一份感情 通常都沒有下文..
後來也就沒有我們 也就沒有如果 後來祗剩下結果..

嘿... 我們話不多說 我們來聽歌吧..
五月天, 我對你們 衹有充滿說不盡的感激
05.08.2016 謝謝 你們的搖滾精神 喚醒了我沉睡已久的靈魂!
希望《終於結束的起點》MV 快上映! :)

天真有邪

在愛情里 我們都是從一個天真無邪 萌萌的那個我們
不知不覺的成長了 往回看的昨天 已經非常遙遠
若重新問我 我是否後悔 我不曾後悔 因爲愛

但是這場愛不屬於我們 我們因此愛得一塌糊塗
若你問我 爲什麽 我選擇放手 而不緊緊的抱住你
我想説 我盡力了 那一段時間 我一直在 但 是在你心墻外打轉

一直走不進去的人是我 越走越迷糊的人是我
終於有一天 我發現原來這不是愛情 在一起是在折磨彼此的理由
承諾不是拿來栓住彼此的枷鎖 不管你多麽生氣 我當時的抉擇
你會有多麽傷心、不明白爲什麽 我會那麽做
預期看著我們一起自焚 倒不如還彼此 自由
我看你痛苦的表情 就是在提醒著自己 我給不了我對你的承諾

我猶豫不決了很久 時間拖得越久 傷害自然越大
假如你覺得 你受傷了 其實我也一樣受傷了
但是一定會有一個適合你我的人來幫助我們把傷口治好
假如你覺得 成全我是一種自由 反而我會好過一些 你錯了
在成全我的時候 你也在放過自己 不必再逼迫你自己 做你不喜歡的事

雖然他們說 不再聯絡是對彼此的好 但是你總是會在我脆弱的時候
忽然出現在我的腦海里 讓我不自覺的想知道你的境況、你好不好
雖然我覺得愛情過後 還是可以擁有 友誼 但 或許對你來説
得不到的 你就不要了 這清清楚楚劃清我們彼此理念不合的地方

愛情 讓我們 在學著愛的過程中 受傷了
今後的我也不再天真 或許天真有邪吧..
要學會重新去愛之前 背負著這些負面的情緒
是應該好好收拾一下 才能重新出發
需要多少時間 我不清楚 但是 我仍相信總有一天 我們都會好起來的
總有一天 我也會成爲你 記憶中 那不起眼的一張臉、一個名、一段回憶

妳，好不好?

最近回想起一些事 心很累
實習的地方也還好 正在等著一份工作的我
天天不知在幹什麽.. 最近又生病
但是我想説 無論我曾經做了什麽
我希望她有一天會明白
或許我真的傷了她的心 但我希望在某個角落
她會想起我們曾有過的好 或許我們不適合
希望現在的她過得比較快樂 不再狼狽
希望她早日能找到一個比我還會討好她、逗她開心的人
我好想知道她的境況 好想讓她知道我還是會常常想起她
可惜我們沒有如果 我衹能但願她現在過得好好的.

第25個夏天

我的第25個夏天 即將就要到了..
轉眼間 好多事情發生了 該發生的并沒有實現
不該發生的也都過去了..
最近正看著一部兩年前的臺灣偶像劇《16個夏天》
戲裏説了一句【心一旦壞掉了，下一段戀愛就不會來了。】
戲裏的方韋德是這麽説的.. 但是我的心卻是激烈地跟著點頭的.
或許我的心某個角落是壞掉了 所以才沒辦法再去接受一個人、
迎接下一段戀情 或許我比較適合 一個人寂寞吧
這樣也或許就不必再次 承受那心痛的感覺.
能當永遠的朋友 的那些人并不多 因爲很多時候
結局并非是好的 有些人 可能連朋友都沒得當了..
你的懲罰真的很痛 我連投降的力氣都沒有..
希望你現在過的好好的.

解脫 - Relief

或許回到一個人的生活對你我都是一種解脫吧.
Perhaps going back to singlehood is a relief for you and me.
人往往都是在失去後才會懂得珍惜.
Humans will only know how to treasure things
when they lose their chance.
我希望 今後的日子你會比較快樂一些.
I wish that you would be happier from now on.
或許 你永遠都看不見我内心里最想表達的
Perhaps you will never get to see this,
and what is coming from my heart.
過去的就讓它 隨時間把傷口撫平.
The past is in the past, may time heal the wounds and ease the pain.
我最難過也後悔的就是傷害了你 我衹希望你能快樂.
I was saddened and regretted for hurting you.
I hope nothing but happiness for you.
對不起，我曾經幼稚.. 我答應你我不會再打擾你了.
I am sorry, I was once childish..
I promise I won't contact and interfere your life anymore.
希望你找到屬於你真正的幸福與真愛 祝福.
I just hope you will be able to find true love and happiness. Best wishes.

"We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again."

25

Another year had past me by...
There are so much installed for me this year..
Wonder how will this year go for me?
when the start is so rocky?
Hmm in 2 months so much has changed..
So much so that I got scared.. :|
Trusting someone can be scary..
Gaining someone's trust can be even more scarier.
& I wonder why all beautiful moments are so short?
I wished they were longer.
I wished my love life would be smoother.
But in reality there is no guarantee of
a happily ever after..
There are just so much more to learn..

Anyways since Madonna was here last weekend
for her first concert in Sg..
Shall dedicate this song~ It's been on my mind lately.
How I wish Babyface would produce something similar again :)
Happy 25th to myself :) I have reached a quarter of the lifespan~

Move On

Just entered the year of Monkey, what can i say..
so many things can change within a day..
From 66kg i have lost weight until 48kg..
This is disgusting, I am losing appetite.. Sigh
Internship is starting, romance is still very stagnant.
Parents are getting older, the responsibilities
on my shoulders are getting heavier..
Seems like it's time to find a job again
& I am turning 25 next month.. hmm I think it's time.
It's time for me to move on..
I think I just found a theme song for the month..

Hello~

Gonna start my new year with a classic!
Taylor Dayne- Love Will Lead You Back


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello~ just the start of this year.. met an accident with a trailer truck..
don't know what to say, hopefully all will be good after this.. :|
Sometimes, you know you've tried your best. To get something or to avoid something.
But yet, it still happened the opposite.
You can end up with nothing or get yourself into something..

Dedicating Adele's Hello.
Because.. "At least I can say that I've tried.."
Somethings in life are just so vulnerable and inevitable.
"To tell you I'm sorry, for the things that I've done.."
I am sorry dad and mom. :(
Another changing point in life.. 25 in less than two months..
I think this album 25 would mark my 25th birthday.
Mid 20s.. Oh gosh.. I ought to grow up already..
I am being really selfish recently.. & I don't know why
I guess this is life? We are always saying hello to our own reflection..
"So hello from the other side"